“Just relax!”
You’ve probably heard this phrase used before, often in situations when someone is stressed out or panicking due to stress or other factors. Or they may be overreacting about something that is in reality not a big deal. Just taking a few breaths can make a huge difference in our mood and outlook, and help us solve problems more effectively.
The martial art I train in (and teach), Ki-Aikido, takes the idea of relaxation to a new level. This is an excerpt from one of the “Ki Sayings” by Sensei Tohei Shin’ichi:
Relaxation is truly an elixir of life. Let us spread the true method of relaxation which enables us to meet each day with a spirit like that of a mild spring breeze. If we practice this, we need never get nervous and excited in our daily affairs.
Putting aside the slightly dramatic and perhaps old-fashioned tone here (which is actually a pretty good translation of the source Japanese given the style it was written in), I think it’s easy to agree that relaxation is a good thing that most of us could all do with more of.
One of the core principles of Ai-Aikido is that we should be relaxed as much as possible, which includes both daily life activities and when performing techniques in the dojo. But the word “relaxed” can sometimes conjure up an image of someone sitting in a lounge chair, or perhaps dozing off in the shade of a tree. That’s why we distinguish “dead relaxation” from active relaxation. Sometimes we use phrases like “extend Ki” to describe this, but to be honest that terminology can be a little hard to understand (especially to new students), so I think it’s better to think in terms of having your mind and body calm, without any unnecessary tension.
One of my favorite ways to demonstrate this is called “iron ring” or “ring of Ki”. Here’s the first few steps of the exercise:
- Find a partner to help
- Make a ring with your thumb and finger (similar to that made by the OK sign)
- Squeeze your fingers together as tightly as you can and don’t let them come apart
- Have your partner try to pull apart your ring, using both of their hands
If you try this, most of the time you’ll find your partner can easily pull your fingers apart
Now, instead of holding your fingers together tightly, let them relax and just touch lightly. You can imagine they are ‘glued’ together by some sort of invisible glue. And when your partner tries to pull them apart, don’t fight; instead, try to just keep your fingers in place and keep them as light as possible.
Of course, to do this you will have to use some muscle power, because your goal is not “dead relaxation” where you literally let your fingers go limp. But you only use the bare minimum to keep your fingers there.
I think you’ll find out how your partner has a really hard time opening your fingers, and you end up less exhausted at the end of things.
This may seem quite counterintuitive at first, so what is happening here? I think one way to think of this is that by holding back, you are adding tension to your fingers that the other person can use against you. When you tense up a body part, you are effectively making it like a plank of wood that is disconnected from the rest of your body. If you are relaxed and only use the necessary force, you are able to dynamically control things, and your fingers become something that is connected to the rest of your body (especially your “one point”, which is sort of like your center of gravity.) Perhaps what is truly important here is not just being “relaxed”, but also being non-reactive.
This may seem like a trivial little game that doesn’t apply to real life, but I think it’s an excellent example, and once you are convinced by the power of relaxation you may start trying to find other places to apply to in your life.
In daily life, mental tension causes some people to develop habits to hold tension in some part of their body, for example tense shoulders, clamping down on your jaw, or wringing your fingers. Bad posture can also contribute to this, because unnatural posture requires us to expend extra energy to maintain our bad posture, whereas good posture allows a state where we can stand with the minimum amount of energy.
Just being aware of which parts of your body have hidden tension, and then learning to release that tension (and build new, good habits), can make a big difference in your life.
To give an example more on the martial arts side, in the last few months I was asked by a high-level sensei to be an uke (basically someone who attacks so the other person can demonstrate a technique) in a group setting. I was doing the “yoko-men-uchi” （横面打ち）attack, where you slice your hand down at an angle to the other person.
While I was able to attack and fall at a pretty fast pace, my hand quickly started getting tired, and I was told I need to relax my hand and attack with less tension in my body. While I was aware of these things, especially in a situation like that I was extra tense (probably trying to show off), which made my attacks uncomfortable to execute, as opposed to keeping my arm (and my entire body) relaxed at all points of the attack. By the way, in Ki-Aikido training, we go through a host of exercises that involve showing how good posture and being relaxed allows us to be stronger and more effective. And we are often trying to check and correct our posture, even in the middle of a technique.
To give another martial arts example: in a recent training session, I learned about how when applying katatori nikyou (肩取り二教, a technique where you take an attacker grabbing your shoulder and lead them down to the mat), staying relaxed and non-reactive makes the technique work the best, whereas as soon as you put tension in your hands, the opponent is able to fight back and resist.
I’ve been mostly talking about physical relaxation so far, but mental relaxation is equally important. We shouldn’t be stressing out over everything, nor should we be not caring about what happens or dozing off (that is similar to dead relaxation). Rather, we should be mentally calm yet alert and aware, ready for anything, and we should still think about whatever happens and take action. But that action shouldn’t be a knee-jerk reaction because something triggered us, but rather something that both our mind and body agreed on as being the right thing to do. I feel that this is one of the reasons the formal name of Ki-Aikido is 心身統一合氣道 [shinshin touitsu aikidou], which translates to “Aikido with Mind and Body Coordinated”. (By the way, as a historical note many of the ideas of relaxation were inspired by Nakamura Tempu (中村天風)).
This emphasis on relaxation can be seen if you watch people performing similar techniques from different styles of Aikido. There are some styles where a technique is executed with some sort of “pose” that gives a dramatic effect, perhaps like watching a kung-fu movie. While I can’t say for certain if that sort of thing is martially effective or not, generally people doing Ki-Aikido will look very relaxed, with their body in a natural position. To be fair, some of the Ki-Aikido techniques have minor elements that appear to be a dramatic flourish, but in general the body should be very relaxed and have as natural a posture as possible, as opposed bracing and being in a “ready” posture.
If you would like to learn more about Ki-Aikido, please check out this article.